Building a child’s self-confidence depends a lot on how his parents communicate with him
12 tips on how to develop confidence in your child
“I’m afraid I won’t pass the exam,” “I think I won’t make the school team,” “I’m not sure I can play the guitar as well as Daddy.” Have you ever heard something like this from your child? If your answer is yes, it means your child lacks confidence.
The things you do and don’t do, the words you say and don’t say to your child, the feelings you express or don’t express – it all affects his confidence. To develop confidence in your child, you must treat him or her right.
Let’s look at what you can do to help.
1.Love and acceptance
Of course, you love your child, no matter what. But does your child know about it? Does he know that you love him, accept and respect his choices?
Show your child love, even if you can’t do it all the time. The child needs to know that he is loved and accepted, regardless of his advantages and disadvantages. Unconditional love is the basis for a child to grow into a confident person.
Most importantly, respect your child as a person.
2. focus on his strengths and correct his weaknesses
No one is perfect, and children are no exception. But to raise a confident child, you shouldn’t dwell on the shortcomings.
Education of children should focus on the development of the strong sides of their character. In doing so, the child should feel able to develop and perform various tasks. Otherwise (for example, the child does poorly at school, suffers defeats in sports, etc.) help him to see his strengths. Tell him what his strengths are.
This does not mean that you should ignore all mistakes. Teach the child to learn from his mistakes, but pay special attention to his achievements. This will remind the child that he can succeed if he wants to.
3 Don’t rush to your child’s aid at the first hardship
Parents tend to protect their children and do everything they can so they don’t feel the bitterness of defeat, disappointment, or pain. But rushing to help your child every time he encounters the slightest problem is a bad idea. You can give him or her some help, but it’s up to the child to solve his or her own problems.
4. Let your child make decisions
Decision-making is an important life skill that your child needs to learn in order to gain self-confidence. Making decisions inspires the child because he sees different possibilities and can choose what works best for him. But, while maturity has yet to set in, the child may not know how to make decisions.
To help your child learn how to make decisions, first give him or her two options to choose from. For example, you might ask your six-year-old daughter to choose what to wear to school (within reason, of course). But explain to her that she can’t choose whether or not to go to school.
By allowing your child to make healthy choices (e.g., what to wear, what movie to see, etc.), you are also teaching her to take responsibility for her decisions.
5. Encourage and develop your child’s talents
Many children have special interests. Some like music or dancing, others are naturally good at drawing. Determine what your child is talented at and develop their abilities. If your child likes to draw, enroll him in art school. If he likes sports, send him to a sports club.
Developing your child’s aptitudes and talents is a great way to boost his or her self-confidence.
6. Give your child responsibility
One of the most effective ways to build a child’s confidence is to give them small tasks that they can definitely do. Knowing that your child can do something on their own can get them excited. When you perform a task with ease and without difficulty, your brain is “recharged” and ready for new tasks. Therefore, it is best to give your child simple tasks around the house. Do not forget to praise him when he does the task well.
For example, an eight-year-old child can be assigned to feed the dog every morning. When he does it without a reminder, praise him for it.
7. When your child is deserving of praise, give it to him.
When a child does anything wrong, he is frequently reprimanded by his parents. But it is just as important to praise him when he does things right. However, parents often forget this. Of course, you shouldn’t praise your child for every little thing, but if he has made an effort and coped with a task or is doing something right for a long time, praise him.
For example, if your child feeds the dog for weeks without a reminder, praise him for his efforts. Even a simple “well done” will build his confidence.
8. Teach your child positive self-talk
Self-talk is an internal dialogue with yourself. What we say to ourselves every minute greatly affects our self-esteem and confidence. Our thoughts affect our emotions and our potential successes. Therefore, if a child thinks he or she can handle a task, his or her chances of success increase significantly.
By instilling positive thoughts in themselves, young children learn to control themselves and succeed in life.
9. Set realistic goals for your child
The surest way to make your child doubt your own abilities is to give them tasks that they can’t do. But if you want your child to succeed in life and grow up healthy and confident, give them age-appropriate, realistic goals.
For example, if you want your child to learn to play the piano, that’s a realistic goal. But it is unrealistic to expect him to learn to play in a month. In this case, it is better to set a child short-term goals: to learn notes, learn to play simple melodies, etc. But if you want your child to win a music contest after a month of lessons, you set him up for failure and disappointment, rather than self-confidence.
10. Allow your child to accept his or her own defeats.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t keep your child from failure and defeat. Like all people, your child will suffer setbacks and feel pain and disappointment from time to time. And this is normal. In such cases, it’s not enough to just tell your child, “Don’t hang up” or “Don’t take it personally.
Teach your child to be emotionally flexible and calmly accept victories and defeats. Tell him that sometimes it’s okay to lose, and he can win next time if he tries hard.
The child is able to learn from his mistakes and correct them the next time. The point is to explain to your child that failure is natural, and you can always find a way to succeed afterwards.
11 Be a good role model
Are you unsure of yourself? Do you doubt your abilities? If so, how can you expect your child to grow up confident?
Children are more likely to mimic what you do than what you say. Deal with your self-esteem and confidence issues and be a good role model for your child.
12. Encourage your child to express his feelings
A confident child can express his feelings without feeling uncomfortable or being overly emotional or aggressive. Self-confidence comes from expressing feelings in a healthy way and knowing when to be calm.
Encourage your child to speak or in writing communicate his or her emotions. . Teach him or her to remain calm in difficult situations. Explain to your child that he should not suppress his feelings because they may come out when he is experiencing difficulties.